The Rules of Faking It

The Rules of Faking It

I’ve always been a “good girl”.  People describe me as kind, nice, pleasant. And that’s ok with me. I AM nice. That’s just not the whole of it. I grew up in the kind of overly-emotional, logic defying, humanity-denying Christianity that...
Breaking Out

Breaking Out

I walked down the stairs by myself and got the mail yesterday. I want to ring a fucking bell and announce myself to the lobby. I mean, I took the elevator back up, but – progress is progress. It’s now been about a month and a half since the treatment for...
Staying Awake

Staying Awake

I had my first nerve conduction study last week.   I wear comfortable clothes as instructed and my Ray-Bans to help block the fluorescent lighting. I get a migraine almost every time I’m at the neurologist’s office – its a trigger minefield....
Acceptance

Acceptance

The migraines started 8 years ago. That was the last time I was able to work, think, or live in any normal way on a consistent basis. I’ve been in denial for 8 years. Until last month.   I was gifted an amazing course through Nick Unsworth of Life on Fire...
The Experiment

The Experiment

A spring evening when I was 29, facing the idea of the next decade, exhausted from the despair and anxiety that spanned the last three, I made a plan to disappear. For good. To fade into a gentle nothingness and get some eternal rest. I’d done my research. I would...